Sometimes it is difficult to tell whether it is love or pure indulgence. I believe all or most of us have this experience where the grandparents/grandaunties/uncles or any relatives who will give in to our kids in all situations. Like my hubby’s aunty will let the kids stir her coffee, add sugar and creamer for her and do all sorts of ‘adult’ things. My dad will let Kerin play with the ti-kam machines every day till I ‘complain’ like hell. To the older generations, this is a form displaying their love for their grandchildren. They will not think twice about giving whatever the kids want. But to the parents, we viewed it as ‘spoiling’ the kids and cultivating a bad habit where the kids will not treasured what they have cos there is always ample suppliers around.
On second thought, there is nothing right or wrong in this. It is matter of perception. To me, as long as it is not OVER indulgence, I am fine. I am pretty particular about food, for example, when the kids are coughing or sick etc, we still give them ice-cream or sweets, I will call this over indulgence. As for clothes/shoes, I believe as long as I can afford it, I will get them nice things to wear once awhile (or most of the time). Toys are never enough, so we can go slow on it. So, it is really a matter of perception.
Kel doesn’t like the idea of going out every weekend as this will give the kids an ideal that we have to go shopping every weekend and we cannot stay at home to do activities together. For me, it is fine as long as I have nothing in mind to buy or when I am not too stress out at work. Kekeke.. I think we have to learn and respect each other’s perception and beliefs in handling different situations and I think once awhile indulgence is fine. Don’t we all like as a child to have aunties/uncles to get us what our parents wouldn’t buy sometimes?
October 13, 2008
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4 comments:
Ya, it's a cycle. I think it's in the nature that grands dote on the kiddos. Who knows when we are grands, we will do the same. Know why? Cos when you are old and your kids have no time for you, grandchildren are your next best companion. So you probably want to pamper them for them to want to 'want you'! That means, to bribe them. Worse still, some grands actually want to fight for the grandchildren's love with their parents. Well, all sorts lah.
kel told me his auntie was "reprimand" when she bght >1sweets for her grandniece.. she is upset and i think if i am the mother i will niam too but again,it is her display of love for her as well as like wat u say..kind of bribery, perhaps..?
anyway, it is sinking into me that alot of things we feel "strong" for or against are purely based on our perception regardless at work or home. If we think we are rite, then we are rite...
The family can dote all they want.
Just don't force unrelated people to do the same thing. kekeke.
Yah lor, but then sometimes when we think we are right, we better reserve the thought that we could be wrong! :)
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